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" "Yes say it." "I want to fuck you." "There now, that wasn't so hard was it." She giggled behind her hand as her eyes dropped to the tent in my pants. Oh god does it get any more humiliating? "Now, we have a number of things to discuss." She moved around her desk and sat down in her large leather high-backed chair. "Is it ok if I sit down now?" "Sure, I'm not stopping you." This was fast becoming the weirdest conversation I had had in my entire life. I slipped into the hard chair in front of Chantelle's desk. "What did you wish to discuss?" "Well Roger, I think you and I should get a few things straight." "Umm ok." "Relax Roger. I am talking about perceptions, believing what you see, what you know to be true, and what you don't know to be true." "I'm lost again." "Do you think I am acting?" "Acting?" "Play-acting I believe you called it." "No. I think you are an intense and perhaps firm person who is used to getting her own way." "That is true." "I like to think I am a good judge of. I know which way is up so to speak. Not this time, I was drowning. None of my normal tricks like telling myself this is just a trip was working. I was losing my grip. I was scared I was going to start doing crazy shit like running in traffic or killing goblins disguised as my family members in the real world. I was free falling in the madness.As I’ve mentioned, I’ve practiced various forms of Magick throughout my life. Since my illness, I have leaned heavily into the myth and culture of my Ancestors. I’ve also restarted some of my magickal practices. It suits me and I find comfort in it. The reason I mention this is I wear for magickal reasons a bracelet. I was wearing it last night. Call it further delirium, or what you will, but I called out to it mentally and was instantly oriented. I was still on the carpet ride and absolutely terrified, but I was anchored.Eventually, I fell back to sleep. Only to have dreams where people were talking to me and I couldn’t understand them. Their.
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